Hello!

It sure has been a while.
I miss this but I had been lacking a subject, how is that even possible? I honestly amaze myself sometimes with my lack of initiative.
I should be doing my Portuguese homework for tomorrow but I'm finding myself unable to do it. Extreme lack of will, it pisses me off, I'm not proud of it. Internally I'm kicking my own butt for it but I'm not getting any closer in getting it done.
I really need to go do it, don't I?
Damn.

SOJA

Longing for some inner peace...

Developed Film

I already have the films developed but I hadn't had the time to write about it until now.

Suming it up:
The one on the Agfa didn't work out so well, it was already in the camera when I went to use it, must had been there for a few years. Most of the photos were pretty fuzzy and/or unfocused. Remind me to never ever attempt to photograph without a flash while in late afternoon.
On the good side, we found we had some old family-trip photos already in the film which must have been from about 2005 considering how young we all look.

I wasn't too sure who took them but my mom says it can only have been me. It's only logical since it was my camera and my dad was with his Olympus as I could see in one of the other photos.
I actually like them.


Now, about my sweet Canon T70. It must be taken into consideration that I was purposefully using an expired film, it was my intention as these photos were just an experience, a first try at the camera as I've only recently adquired it. Also, I was using a Wide Angle Lens which I love.

I'm actually happy with these. They aren't professional-like or anything over-the-top but I like them, they look vintage. I would say it was well worth it.

Feeling feisty

From the way that you acted
to the way that I felt it
It wasn't worth my time
and now it's sad cause all I missed
wasn't that good to begin with
and now I've started you begging
saying things that you don't mean
it isn't worth my time
a line's a dime a million times
and I'm about to see all of them

Goodbye to you, goodbye to you, you're taking up my time
Goodbye to you, goodbye to you

You call my name when I wake up
to see things go your way
I'm coughing up my time
each drag's a drop of blood a grain
a minute of my life
it's all I've got just to stay down
why the fuck am I still down
I'm hoarding all that's mine
each time I let just one slip by
I'm wasting what is mine

Goodbye to you, goodbye to you, you're taking up my time
Goodbye to you, goodbye to you

My time
My time
My time

I'm about to see a million things
I thought I'd never see before and I
I'm about to do all of the things
I've dreamed of and
I don't even miss you at all

Goodbye to you, goodbye to you, you're taking up my time
Goodbye to you, goodbye to you

-------------------------------------------------------



I will promise myself I won't care
distracting myself from your stare
and I've seen this mistake once before
with your games I will never fall for
I've hung up my guns
I won't kill again

I won't forget you (I won't forget you)
I'm not gonna let you win (I'm not gonna...)
but I'm tired of lying
tired of fighting you
and it's not gonna change

You ask for my heart
you know that I'm down
but not the way you lie to me,
you tear it all apart and beg for me to stay
I've sailed off to sea (sailed off to sea),
I'm not coming back

I won't forget you (I won't forget you)
I'm not gonna let you win (I'm not gonna...)
but I'm tired of lying
tired of fighting you
and it's not gonna change

Counting down
Make that sound
And you know it makes no sense
Counting down
Till you mess around
And I know you can't ever change
When I'm trembling,
Thrown overboard
And I'm ready to relive the past
Counting down
Make that sound
Break the silence

Pretend it's not forever,
I'll pull myself together
I'll say that I'll forget her,
I'll breathe.
And I'll say she never hurt me,
And look at it as learning,
And laugh about the good and the bad.
Because I won't live forever
We don't belong together,
I know I'll feel better,
One day when I can make it through.

I won't forget you (I won't forget you)
I'm not gonna let you win (I'm not gonna...)
but I'm tired of lying
tired of fighting you
and it's not gonna change (It's not gonna change)

I won't forget you (Counting down...)
I'm not gonna let you win (Counting down...)
but I'm tired of lying
tired of fighting you
and it's not gonna change
----------------------------------------------------

I love both these bands, it's ironic how such different songs can make me feel the same.

Spring, I miss you

Today was such a wonderful day, it was like Spring arrived earlier! And I love Spring.

As such wonderful days usually do, today inspired me to finally write. You wanna know what was it exactly that I decided to talk about? And it's not about the two colour films I went to get developed (I'm so excited!).

This is what:

I am absolutely crazy about these Volkswagen vans, and today for some reason, two of these happened to pass by me. It's not an often occurence, we lack cool hippie and rastafari people around here. And all the good stuff that comes with such.

This, along with my desire to go to Sudoeste Festival this year, got me thinking of what a huge mingle of tastes I posesse.

I enjoy urban art, dirty-looking city buildings covered in graffittis, losing myself in crowds with heavy music blowing my eardrums; the country, sitting peacefully listening to acoustic music with the sun warming my skin, writing, even drawing in my notebook, or as I take long strides while photographing; the beach, watching the waves come and go, reggae music playing in my ear and that feeling we get in the summer as if the days were infinite; sitting in my room drawing, listening to songs that get me overwhelmed with feelings.



I could spend days naming things I enjoy. Maybe I'll start making lists, what do you think about that?

I hope your day was as beautiful as mine.

All I did for you seems so silly to me now

Begging like you might take order in your own hands.
I stare, it seems like I don't care,

drop a chance in your hands then.
I know that bad's got to fix itself, correct over time.
And I know 'cause I've got the cure,

I've got a cure for your crimes.

All I dreamed up, all that seemed like luck seems silly to you now.
All I said to you, all I did for you seems so silly to me now.

Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh, oh oh, oh oh, oh oh, oh oh

Screaming like no one might call the cops and arrest you this time.
Standing back against my building's back
door, you're hoping for a ride.
I know the world's been mean to you, I've got a cure, hold tight.
I know the world's not fair to you,

I've got a cure for it's crimes.

All I dreamed up, all that seemed like luck seems silly to you now.
All I said to you, all I did for you seems so silly to me now.

Oh oh when you say it,
So so slowly to me,
Oh oh well I keep going,
Oh no I ran while knowing,
No no I know you need it,
So so I need it too,
And oh oh I must keep going,
So so you must too.

Oh oh when you say it,
So so slowly to me,
Oh oh well I keep going,
Oh no I ran while knowing,
No no I know you need it,
So so I need it too,
And oh oh I must keep going, so you must too.

I've got a cure, I've got the cure for you.

All I dreamed up, all that seemed like luck seems silly to you now.
All I said to you, all I did for you seems so silly to me now.

All I dreamed up, all that seemed like luck seems silly to you now.
All I said to you, all I did for you seems so silly to me now.

I've got a cure, I've got the cure for you.
I've got a cure, I've got the cure for you.

Diana F+

Many months ago I fell in love with this amazing camera a friend of mine showed me, the Diana F+. She was getting one on her birthday and right then and there I knew I really wanted one too. But I fell into an impasse. I wasn't sure if I should or if I should.
Well today in a conversation with my Natybuh I learned I am not the only one sharing this passion for the Diana, and now I'm once again head over heels (or flats, or whatever you guys wear). I know I will never forgive myself if I don't get one, if I let this chance pass.
If I wasn't gay already, I would go gay for Diana!

Isn't she gorgeous?



Now, as my mom so wisely pointed out, I can't really get one at the moment. Not only because I don't have many money but also because I don't have how to cover for all the expenses such as the camera itself, obviously, film and developing. Bummer.

I suppose I will have to wait a while longer.