Sometimes I wonder how many people go through this feeling.
Like when they’re out on the street holding hands with the person they love and they suddenly stop and think that, what if the wrong person saw them, what if some wacko crazy lunatic saw them and, I don’t know, killed them.
I feel that sometimes, when I’m out with my girlfriend. I don’t think I ever told that to anyone, but I do, and even she thinks I’m just being a scaredy cat because it’s dark and I’ve seen way too many scary movies but, it’s no demons or ghosts or whatever kind of monsters I’m scared of, I’m scared another human being just like me might see it and not only dislike it but hate it, and not be right in the mind and take it into its own hands to “fix” it. I’m scared of being beaten or raped or even killed just because I’m holding her hand, and that doesn’t stop me in the least and I’ll keep doing that forever if I can but it makes me think, it gets me thinking every time I hear about anything that is relative to homosexuality and death, it gets me thinking it could be me but thankfully isn’t, thankfully I have an amazingly supportive family and friends who love me and back me up nonetheless, maybe even more than if I was straight.
I consider myself lucky and it honestly kills me to know many aren’t half as lucky. It gets me crying like a baby completely lost in the world (and believe me, that's sad). I feel so ungrateful at times, I seem to forget the pain and the suffering of those who had to fight for all the rights I now have. For fucks sake, I can even marry right now. And I wish I could thank each one of the people who made it possible and take them in my arms and fix all the harm that was done to them. Harm that was done just so that I, like many other to come, could enjoy the acceptance I have nowadays, could live my life without fearing death penalties and such.
I hope that someday I can do my part…
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| (I can't credit because I honestly don't know where I got this beautiful photograph.) |
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