Call It Off

Sometimes people just don't know when to give up and I've never hated that fact so much.
I just wanted, for once in my fucking life, for things to be simple, easy, drama-free. Why do I always get the complicated chicks?
I'm going to turn nun, yeah, celibacy and all that stuff. Oh wait, that means being surrounded by women 24/7. Forget about that.

One day I will have what they have :3

It just goes to show the amazing friends I have. Thank you so much for always standing beside me and supporting me. I love you all so very much <3

Elections

Today I voted for the first time and it felt good. I can only thank the thousands of women before me who fought for the rights I now have.

I wish everybody gave voting as much value as I do. Well, I made my part. But then I saw the news at night and was presented with a lovely percentage of (around) 45% abstention and I couldn't be more disappointed with my country. That and the assholes I was hoping wouldn't win well, they did win. Right wing for the win! ...Yeah, right. Conservative gits, just what we needed.
At least I won't get disappointed with the Government because I don't expect any good from it either ways.


My "just voted" face. Don't make fun of my excitement. Unf.



Short films

Just found out a very talented guy through Autostraddle, Alex Bohs, you should go check him out. There's something so soft and sweet about his short films.


That Four-Letter Word from Alex Bohs on Vimeo.



Half from Alex Bohs on Vimeo.

Miss Julia

I love her. Who knew cardboard could look so cool?

Totally want these.



Musing

I was watching my entries and realized I didn't write a single one during the month of April, and that is pretty fucking ridiculous. You wanna know why? Because I turned 18 on the 5th April, and it's shameful that I didn't write anything about it! I mean, it's not everyday that you become a legal adult.
I spent the entire day joking around saying I could already go to jail and I didn't write anything about it! I suck!
One thing I'm actually thrilled to be able to do as an official grown up (yeah, right!) is...vote. Yes, I am quite anxious about voting and, just my luck, there will be elections in just two weeks.
Many people I know keep saying there's no point in voting, and that seems to be everybody's opinion, how else could we explain the high level of abstention in here? It pisses me off. They keep complaining about our country and the government but when they have the chance to do something, to try and change things, all they do is sit their fat asses at home and do nothing. Well, that must really make a difference! We can see where that got us so far.
It's one thing to vote blank and another to abstain. By abstaining you're sending off the message "I couldn't be arsed to vote" but by voting blank you're saying "You're a bunch of wankers and none of you deserves my vote". See the subtle difference?

Make an effort, aye? I'm nervous because I've never voted in my life and I keep playing out the most scary situations even though I know that's not how it will go, but I'm the first one to admit I don't do well out of familiar ground. I'm trying though.



P.S: On a lighter note, I'm soooooo looking forward to getting my skin inked.Oh, and I keep wanting my septum pierced. Just saying.<3

Losing My Mind

There's no fights and theres no tears
There's no need if you're not here
But I'm not the same anyway, anymore

On Stranger Tides

Things have been...hectic to say the least, but I managed to take two hours off to go watch Pirates of The Caribbean: On Stranger Tides and it was awesomeeee. It's not that the movie was something over the top, but I enjoyed it very much.

I will be honest now, don't hit me for it but I happen to not be such a big fan of the Elizabeth/Will thing. Yup, that's right. They annoy me to no end, i don't know why but they do, so as you can imagine I didn't exactly cry a river over them being absent from the latest movie (more like the opposite but shhh).

Either ways, Johnny Depp is epic, Penélope Cruz is epic and the two of them together are even more epic. Explosive duo.

But what warmed my heart the most was Syrena and Philip. They are so cute, but SO cute, forgive my squealing self. Maybe it's the all mermaid/man antagonic relationship or the supposedly impossibility of their love (we homos have a sore spot for the whole Starcrossed-lovers thing), but they managed to portray such a subtle yet intense love that it balanced the fiery passion happening between Jack and Angelica.

I enjoyed it, I did. What about you guys?

See? So sweet.

I woke up today with this song in my head. it's been a while since I listened to Sov.




"You make my nips hard just like cherry pips
And you can make me hit em high notes like Mariah Carey hits"

"It takes a very long time to become young" - Pablo Picasso

Barcelona

(Written on March 22, 2011)

This past week  I went on a trip I had been longing for for months now.
My teachers had the idea to organize a trip to Barcelona, 5 days long, so we could get to see the city in all its full glory. The truth is, Barcelona oozes art, in it's own edgy and bright way. I can't find the words to describe the entire trip.
I got to spend 5 whole days with some of the most important and amazing people in my life, made new friends, had a blast from the crack of dawn to the wee-hours of the night, slept from 5 to 2 hours a day, walked miles and miles each day seeing the most amazing buildings and paintings and graffitis and people.
I missed travelling.

Random Fuckery

When you live an alternative lifestyle you start to wonder: what is truly right or wrong anymore?

You live by none of the common standards and all the traditional roles and the definition of gender itself becomes slightly blurry. There is no man in pants and woman in skirt, at best, if I feel like it, I will be wearing men clothes today and a flowery top tomorrow. I happen to enjoy that thoroughly.

I admit it, I have a fascination with men fashion. I truly enjoy it, I find myself constantly checking out guy’s clothes. But I don’t want them, I want their clothes, I want to be able to look like that too. I don’t want to be a man though, and I don’t wish to look like one either, but I like that contrast, all that feminine/masculine twist. I’m still working on it though.

I’m pretty sure I even confuse myself with all this clashing inside me as I struggle to find a middle ground. How does one truly express itself?

I wish I was one of those people that can make whatever they choose to dress work, that are plain and simply cool. With no effort whatsoever. I fail at that.

Man, I wish I was a cool kid.

Polaroids

Today after a conversation with Paty about Polaroids I decided to waltz around the internet to get a way to make my digital photos look like Polaroids, since I'm poor and I can't afford a real Polaroid camera (I will one day though!). The cool thing is, I did find a program that does so, and it is sooooooooooooooooo sweet! Like, really! The name of this miracle from the gods (but only the mythological ones cause they are cool) is Poladroid!
Not only is it adorable looking because the menu is a polaroid camera, but the images come out amazing. I look like a child with a lifelong stock of candy!
Here are some of them:



Doesn't it look sweet on my desktop?
Yup mates, that's the actual program, a camera.



Carnival

The perfect night with the perfect people <3

Septum

Holding off my decision to pierce my septum isn't helping, honestly it's only making me want it more.
Damnit.

PS: I actually think it would look alright with the rest of the piercings I already have.

Lx Menina e Moça

"Baseada em factos reais, LX Menina e Moça trata a realidade homossexual tendo como pano de fundo as ruas, a arquitectura, os cheiros e a vida de Lisboa

O principal objectivo é ser uma série informativa, para além de entretenimento. Na primeira temporada pretendemos destacar a homofobia e a aceitação individual. É uma série para todo o tipo de jovens: lésbicas, gays, bissexuais, transexuais e heterossexuais entre os 18 e os 30 anos. Pretende desenvolver o conhecimento geral e educar o público para uma melhor aceitação de uma minoria. Todas as vivências e/ou dúvidas serão representadas de forma realista de modo a ajudar a compreender uma realidade que ainda se esconde e vive rodeada de preconceitos."


 Já à bastante tempo que tinha lido sobre esta nova série, embora na altura não soubesse se iria realmente para a frente (tenham em consideração que li sobre isto ainda antes dos castings).
Hoje em conversa veio ao de cima e eu decidi ir dar uma olhadela por aí, ver como as coisas estavam encaminhadas. Ao que parece já só falta arranjar um canal que esteja disposto a comprar.

Eu vou ser bastante sincera.
Cada vez que sou informada de algum filme ou série do género fico sempre de pé atrás. Verdade seja dita, é maior o número de programas/filmes LGBT de má qualidade, ou simplesmente mal conseguidos, do que os decentes. Já aprendi que mais vale não ter grandes expectativas e assim ser surpreendido pela positiva.
Mas quanto a esta série, não sei bem o que pensar.
Eu tenho esperança, muita esperança mesmo, que esta série venha mudar as coisas, que esta seja aquela série que eu vou pensar "Era mesmo disto que nós precisávamos". Até hoje ainda nao houve uma com a qual eu me identificasse a 100%.
Penso que o grande factor que me convence que vai ter um bom resultado é a realizadora de todo o projecto, Zara Pinto. Jovem, lésbica, e alguém com quem vejo aspectos comuns. Acho que estamos em boas mãos pessoal.

ET

Very much like t.A.T.u. isn't it? That's a good thing though. I like both the original and this cover, a lot.
They both remind me of something, but I can't seem to figure out what exactly. You know, when songs give you that feeling?

Hello!

It sure has been a while.
I miss this but I had been lacking a subject, how is that even possible? I honestly amaze myself sometimes with my lack of initiative.
I should be doing my Portuguese homework for tomorrow but I'm finding myself unable to do it. Extreme lack of will, it pisses me off, I'm not proud of it. Internally I'm kicking my own butt for it but I'm not getting any closer in getting it done.
I really need to go do it, don't I?
Damn.

SOJA

Longing for some inner peace...

Developed Film

I already have the films developed but I hadn't had the time to write about it until now.

Suming it up:
The one on the Agfa didn't work out so well, it was already in the camera when I went to use it, must had been there for a few years. Most of the photos were pretty fuzzy and/or unfocused. Remind me to never ever attempt to photograph without a flash while in late afternoon.
On the good side, we found we had some old family-trip photos already in the film which must have been from about 2005 considering how young we all look.

I wasn't too sure who took them but my mom says it can only have been me. It's only logical since it was my camera and my dad was with his Olympus as I could see in one of the other photos.
I actually like them.


Now, about my sweet Canon T70. It must be taken into consideration that I was purposefully using an expired film, it was my intention as these photos were just an experience, a first try at the camera as I've only recently adquired it. Also, I was using a Wide Angle Lens which I love.

I'm actually happy with these. They aren't professional-like or anything over-the-top but I like them, they look vintage. I would say it was well worth it.

Feeling feisty

From the way that you acted
to the way that I felt it
It wasn't worth my time
and now it's sad cause all I missed
wasn't that good to begin with
and now I've started you begging
saying things that you don't mean
it isn't worth my time
a line's a dime a million times
and I'm about to see all of them

Goodbye to you, goodbye to you, you're taking up my time
Goodbye to you, goodbye to you

You call my name when I wake up
to see things go your way
I'm coughing up my time
each drag's a drop of blood a grain
a minute of my life
it's all I've got just to stay down
why the fuck am I still down
I'm hoarding all that's mine
each time I let just one slip by
I'm wasting what is mine

Goodbye to you, goodbye to you, you're taking up my time
Goodbye to you, goodbye to you

My time
My time
My time

I'm about to see a million things
I thought I'd never see before and I
I'm about to do all of the things
I've dreamed of and
I don't even miss you at all

Goodbye to you, goodbye to you, you're taking up my time
Goodbye to you, goodbye to you

-------------------------------------------------------



I will promise myself I won't care
distracting myself from your stare
and I've seen this mistake once before
with your games I will never fall for
I've hung up my guns
I won't kill again

I won't forget you (I won't forget you)
I'm not gonna let you win (I'm not gonna...)
but I'm tired of lying
tired of fighting you
and it's not gonna change

You ask for my heart
you know that I'm down
but not the way you lie to me,
you tear it all apart and beg for me to stay
I've sailed off to sea (sailed off to sea),
I'm not coming back

I won't forget you (I won't forget you)
I'm not gonna let you win (I'm not gonna...)
but I'm tired of lying
tired of fighting you
and it's not gonna change

Counting down
Make that sound
And you know it makes no sense
Counting down
Till you mess around
And I know you can't ever change
When I'm trembling,
Thrown overboard
And I'm ready to relive the past
Counting down
Make that sound
Break the silence

Pretend it's not forever,
I'll pull myself together
I'll say that I'll forget her,
I'll breathe.
And I'll say she never hurt me,
And look at it as learning,
And laugh about the good and the bad.
Because I won't live forever
We don't belong together,
I know I'll feel better,
One day when I can make it through.

I won't forget you (I won't forget you)
I'm not gonna let you win (I'm not gonna...)
but I'm tired of lying
tired of fighting you
and it's not gonna change (It's not gonna change)

I won't forget you (Counting down...)
I'm not gonna let you win (Counting down...)
but I'm tired of lying
tired of fighting you
and it's not gonna change
----------------------------------------------------

I love both these bands, it's ironic how such different songs can make me feel the same.

Spring, I miss you

Today was such a wonderful day, it was like Spring arrived earlier! And I love Spring.

As such wonderful days usually do, today inspired me to finally write. You wanna know what was it exactly that I decided to talk about? And it's not about the two colour films I went to get developed (I'm so excited!).

This is what:

I am absolutely crazy about these Volkswagen vans, and today for some reason, two of these happened to pass by me. It's not an often occurence, we lack cool hippie and rastafari people around here. And all the good stuff that comes with such.

This, along with my desire to go to Sudoeste Festival this year, got me thinking of what a huge mingle of tastes I posesse.

I enjoy urban art, dirty-looking city buildings covered in graffittis, losing myself in crowds with heavy music blowing my eardrums; the country, sitting peacefully listening to acoustic music with the sun warming my skin, writing, even drawing in my notebook, or as I take long strides while photographing; the beach, watching the waves come and go, reggae music playing in my ear and that feeling we get in the summer as if the days were infinite; sitting in my room drawing, listening to songs that get me overwhelmed with feelings.



I could spend days naming things I enjoy. Maybe I'll start making lists, what do you think about that?

I hope your day was as beautiful as mine.

All I did for you seems so silly to me now

Begging like you might take order in your own hands.
I stare, it seems like I don't care,

drop a chance in your hands then.
I know that bad's got to fix itself, correct over time.
And I know 'cause I've got the cure,

I've got a cure for your crimes.

All I dreamed up, all that seemed like luck seems silly to you now.
All I said to you, all I did for you seems so silly to me now.

Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh, oh oh, oh oh, oh oh, oh oh

Screaming like no one might call the cops and arrest you this time.
Standing back against my building's back
door, you're hoping for a ride.
I know the world's been mean to you, I've got a cure, hold tight.
I know the world's not fair to you,

I've got a cure for it's crimes.

All I dreamed up, all that seemed like luck seems silly to you now.
All I said to you, all I did for you seems so silly to me now.

Oh oh when you say it,
So so slowly to me,
Oh oh well I keep going,
Oh no I ran while knowing,
No no I know you need it,
So so I need it too,
And oh oh I must keep going,
So so you must too.

Oh oh when you say it,
So so slowly to me,
Oh oh well I keep going,
Oh no I ran while knowing,
No no I know you need it,
So so I need it too,
And oh oh I must keep going, so you must too.

I've got a cure, I've got the cure for you.

All I dreamed up, all that seemed like luck seems silly to you now.
All I said to you, all I did for you seems so silly to me now.

All I dreamed up, all that seemed like luck seems silly to you now.
All I said to you, all I did for you seems so silly to me now.

I've got a cure, I've got the cure for you.
I've got a cure, I've got the cure for you.

Diana F+

Many months ago I fell in love with this amazing camera a friend of mine showed me, the Diana F+. She was getting one on her birthday and right then and there I knew I really wanted one too. But I fell into an impasse. I wasn't sure if I should or if I should.
Well today in a conversation with my Natybuh I learned I am not the only one sharing this passion for the Diana, and now I'm once again head over heels (or flats, or whatever you guys wear). I know I will never forgive myself if I don't get one, if I let this chance pass.
If I wasn't gay already, I would go gay for Diana!

Isn't she gorgeous?



Now, as my mom so wisely pointed out, I can't really get one at the moment. Not only because I don't have many money but also because I don't have how to cover for all the expenses such as the camera itself, obviously, film and developing. Bummer.

I suppose I will have to wait a while longer.

I will never change my ways

Have a good day :)

Banksy

I had been meaning to write this for a couple of days, but honestly hadn't found the time to until now. Besides, I'm not the type of person who would write about Banksy in 5 minutes, this required some deep thinking and contemplation (you probably won't notice that though because my writing is wacko).

So, Banksy. Banksy, Banksy, Banksy... Do I love that man. I am a huge fan of his works, as the urban art lover and hopefully one-day-to-be urban artist that I am (among many other different designations, I like variety).

He is a very big inspiration to me, considering I am into the whole Stencil Art thing. I, unfortunately, have never sprayed any of my stuff on the streets yet but I hope to one day. Probably when I have a bit more practice at it.

Banksy is so epic he doesn't even need to show his face and still people all over the world venerate him. I think all the mystery adds to his charm!
But truth be told what's really amazing about him is not only his skills as an artist, which are indubitable, but the social criticism in his works. He manages to approach serious subjects with a twist giving them humour. Not many can do that so well.

In all honesty Banksy isn't something that can be explained, he's something that has got to be seen to realize the wonder of it.

P.S: I started writing this before 10 pm. Just thought I should let you know how long it took me ahah.

Irony

I wonder if people notice the constant ironic tone to my writing, aside from when I'm talking serious matters. I really do. I think to myself many times "If they don't notice I'm kidding they're going to think I'm very very stupid, perhaps even plain out dumb".
I mean, I am ridiculous, in a way, I'm stupid too, in another way (and I don't mean that in terms of intelligence). Have I mentioned I'm blonde yet? I don't think I have. So well, I am, you've gotta go easy on me guys!

Anyway, I like to joke even if I sound like a fool most of my time.
Today I told my homie, who tends to wear those "condom head" beanies ( I do too but that doesn't count):
"I don't know if anyone has ever told you it's not in that head you're supposed to wear protection".
See, stupid! But I thought it was funny which makes me twice as stupid.
I thoroughly enjoy insulting myself, it amuses me. We can't take ourselves too seriously.

I think it's all the "me being aware of my decent mental abbilities" that makes me confortable in twisting them. I'm pretty nerdy if I may say so, and proud of it too.
It's not about "being a fun person" or "being a mature person", because can you honestly imagine yourself with someone who is always goofing around or someone who is always serious and considerate?
What matters, at least to me, is being able to be serious when needed but also be chill and fuck around and act stupid.

What is your opinion on that?

My pseudo-creepy face

An inspirational afternoon

Friday after school I went for a walk on the beach with my girlfriend. To be perfectly honest we couldn't have picked a trickier day to do it, but it was good none the less. It was cold and VERY windy, but I'm glad we went because otherwise I wouldn't have this to show:

I would really love to know who is the author of these masterpieces because I am in complete awe, and I really mean it. This dude is so talented, I hope these two beauties stick by and nobody remembers to fuck them up. I will seriously feel like murdering someone if next time I go there they are gone.

I've been getting very into painting and seeing this was very inspirational. I can't wait untill I get some time to paint and try out some of the ideas I've been having lately. I'm psyched!

Mantém-te Firme

"Há-de surgir um raio de luz no meio da porcaria, porque até um relógio parado está certo 2 vezes por dia." - Boss AC, Mantém-te Firme

That pretty much means: A ray of light will appear in the middle of the trash, because even a broken clock is right two times a day.
My homie wrote this in a comment, and well, it hit a sore spot...

Cookie Jar

Sorry, I just couldn't resist.


Gym Class Heroes - Cookie Jar [Feat. The-Dream]

School

My beloved Christmas holidays are over (actually, I love every holiday. As long as it means no school, I'm good!).
Tomorrow I'll be once again waking up at 7 am to go to school do, I don't even know what. I miss it, but I'm tired. I do need routine back though, and I can't believe I'm saying this.

On a lighter note, Rachel Maddow is sexy! There is nothing like a cute, smart, nerdy woman. I'm sold.
Oh and sense of humour, can't forget about sense of humour. Definitely a plus.