Longing

When is enough ever enough? Is constant unsatisfaction what keeps us going? I find myself having this conversation with myself over and over again.
Is it me who always wants more? Or are things really not up to standards?
I hate myself sometimes. I hate myself for my discontentment, for this restless longing. I wish I had a way of knowing if I'm the one who's wrong or if things are really not worth it.
I feel like I'm walking on a limbo, an inch away from falling through. There are moments when this anguish takes over me, frustration for what was and no longer is.
I miss afternoons with the glow of the setting sun surrounding me in a craddle of happiness, of the sense of peacefulness and safety I felt inside. I felt so big and confident. Now i'm just unsure.
As I read through this all I see is "I...", "me...", and it makes me feel so selfish. I wonder if it's really altruism what keeps me around or fear, cowardice. My opinion of myself as long degraded.
I wish I could get back that feeling, those feelings, now I always feel like I'm bellow expectations.
I feel this cold, this emptiness in me, and I feel like it is never going away. I just know it deep down. I knew it then as I know it now that things would never be the same, but knowing isn't enough.
I just need to fix this before I drive myself miserable. But alas, it's easier said than done.

Super bra, I can always count on your support

eheh :) <3

Natalia Tena

Alright, I'm in love with this woman. Like, totally, head over heels.

One - Natalia Tena is HOT. She sends the definition of hot into a whole new level. Gorgeous, beautiful, you name it.
Two - Her style is just amazing. She dresses whatever she feels like whenever she feels like. She just doesn't care. One day boyish, another day sexy as hell. I really admire that in her because I myself have a pretty rough time balancing my femininity and masculinity.
Three - She's so down to earth people! So human in the most overwhelmingly good of the ways.
Four - If you saw the video you will be expecting this one. Her voice is like...woah. It's beautiful, raw but beautiful. And when I say raw I must point out that's probably what I like the most about it. You should totally check out her band, Molotov Jukebox. They have the craziest and coolest of sounds.
Five - I love her attitude. That woman glows, she's a ball of energy. I honestly feel like squeezing her. Oh well...Andiamo!
Six - I really like her acting, she just gives off this chill vibe... And even though Tonks looks seriously gay I am a sucker for all the Remus/Tonks love story.
Seven - Dude, her parents are Spanish! That means that, not only does she have a fucking sexy british accent (I'm crazy about those), she also speaks Spanish! I find it peculiar in a way but also admirable because those are both some thick accents and she owns them. It really amazes me, I'm not kidding.
Eight - I got the biggest of the crushes on her when I saw her in this one movie from some years ago (some as in almost a decade), before I knew it was her, and I need to show you because...simply because.
The movie is called About a Boy. Funny enough the same boy the title refers to is now a quite tall young man called Nicholas Hoult who happens to have played Tony Stonem in Skins... Does time fly by.

This is her in all her teenage glory in About a Boy

I just had to share how amazing she is. Forgive my groupiness or whatever you might call it. Ah!

Forgive

You, you got a way of keeping
me on my toes and you got a way
of thinking whatever you do goes
and I really don't mind cause you
keeping me amused and you treated
my love to your god damn crazy moods
and I, I forgive you

I forgive you for the truth I liked you better
when you lied, and I forgive you being you
cause you were better when you faked every smile
and know your knocking on my front door that's what
I've been living for excuse me while I laugh my ass off
I forgive you for your ways now that I finally got away

I, I'm gonna miss watching you while you sleep
cause that was the only time I ever found some peace
I use to believe it was me who was insane, but now I
take it back cause compared to you I'm OK
and I, I forgive you

I forgive you for the truth I liked you better
when you lied, and I forgive you being you
cause you were better when you faked every smile
and know your knocking on my front door that's what
I've been living for excuse me while I laugh my ass off
I forgive you for your ways now that I finally got away

From you, I could throw my cares away
now I know how freedom taste and I
thank you for the pain cause now I
can deal with anything

You, you had a way of keeping me on my toes...


I forgive you for the truth I liked you better
when you lied, and I forgive you being you
cause you were better when you faked every smile
and know your knocking on my front door that's what
I've been living for excuse me while I laugh my ass off
and now your knocking on my front door that's what I've
been living for excuse me while I laugh my ass off
and now your knocking on my front door that's what I've
been living for excuse me while I laugh my ass off
I forgive you for your ways now that I finally got away




Too bad I don't really forgive her.

I Am Harry Potter

I Am Harry Potter from Daniel Radcliffe

Dan is no doubt an amazing actor, we've gotta give him credit for that.
Oh wait, I meant Harry. Harry is an amazing actor. Damn I keep messing that up...
Ahahah

I don't like walking in the dark because I can't see where I'm headed.

I'm a "glass-half-full" kind of person. I only see the negative side of things when I know that's probably how things will go, in a futile attempt to soften the blow. Better convince myself things go wrong so that if they do, i will be expecting it. And in case they go right, well, the hope I was secretly keeping to myself will have been worth it.
But sometimes there's no positive or negative side, it's all a blur and we can't even figure out what is really going on. I think those moments are the worst.

I hate losing control: of myself, of my body, of my life. I drink alcohol but I don't get trashed, I don't do drugs, I don't like walking in the dark because I can't see where I'm headed.
You can face it as a fear, a phobia, or as a mere life-perspective. I see it as any of those.
So you can only imagine how I stay any time something lands on that grey area. I stress myself over possible motives, wear myself out untill I'm a turmoil of emotions. I'm a nervous wreck.

I hate to admit that lately I've found myself in one of those moments.
I don't know what I did, if it was something I said or just piled up problems, but everything went burning down and I lost an important friendship. I don't know which I hate more, if the entire situation for the pain it's putting me through or if the person for making me go through it without any apparent reason, for treating me so unfairly.
It's a vicious cycle, eating me up.

I'm having a hard time sleeping lately. Hope it doesn't last long.






I promise I won't linger long, I promise I won't push my face up against your clothes or your stupid sheets.

What I've been up to

Drawing Class:

The wall looked so awesome with our works... so rainbowlicious

Mine mine mine (photo included)

Materials and Technologies Class:

My crappy mold.




 

 The sculpture that served as a base for the mold
(destroyed meanwhile during the making of the mold).



Remembrance

I often ask myself if there was ever a time, when I was younger, that I noticed I was gay.

I'm not one of those people who always knew, I really didn't, I had no clue. But sometimes I ask myself if there was any evidence, something I didn't quite notice. And the truth is, most times I thought of this I dismissed the idea, there was nothing I could recall.
But just some minutes ago I was reading Autostraddle and a lamp seemingly lit up in my mind.

I remembered a couple of situations that even if pretty much insignificant marked me to this day, two of which I happened to stumble upon while watching TV.
The first was when one day, about eight years ago, I was zapping and stopped on MCM (which, for those who don't know, is a french music channel). Everything was fine and dandy untill suddenly the two girls singing on the video kissed. I know that leaves no doubts, they were none other than t.A.T.u. singing "All The Things She Said". I, being my young and innocent self, had never heard of them and was honestly too young to. I remember that situation so clearly it astounds me.

The second one is even older, I don't even know how old it really is. It took me a long time to figure out who it was, this weird person with a hair full of braids, a hat atop of the head and bright red lipstick. Ah well, it was Boy George!
It might sound like nothing to many but when I say my memory is bad, I really mean it, and for these situations to have stuck with me for all my life there must have been something inside me that somehow knew already that there was something different in me.

Today my homie, Jorge, asked me how I knew I was gay. I asked myself that same question for a long time, to be perfectly honest, and the only answer really is "I just knew". It is ironic how easily I can answer the How-come-I-didn't-find-out-sooner question, but searching for signs prior to that is so hard.

Boy George as I remember seeing him (except for the missing hat).

Tegan And Sara - Nineteen (Acoustic)

This was live guys. Seriously, tell me how many people are this good live?
I can't explain how this song makes me feel, it's just too much for words in the most amazing of the ways.

I felt you in my legs
Before I ever met you
And when I laid beside you
For the first time
I told you
I feel you in my heart
And I don't even know you
And now we're saying bye
Bye, bye
And now we're saying bye
Bye, bye
I was nineteen
Call me
I felt you in my life
Before I ever thought to
Feel the need to lay down
Beside you and tell you
I feel you in my heart
And I don't even know you
And now we're saying bye
Bye, bye
And now we're saying bye
Bye, bye
I was ninteen
Call me
I was nineteen
Call me
Flew home
Back to where we met
Stayed inside
I was so upset
Cooked up a plan
So good except
I was all alone
You were all I had
Love you
You were all mine
Love me
I was yours right?
I was yours right?
I was nineteen
Call me

Harry Potter

In the last few days, due to the release in the cinema of the last movie's first part, I've been noticing a certain panic settling on people. And it took me noticing their reactions for mine to finally settle in.
This is really it. Yeah guys it took me this long.
I had been far too absorved in everything to notice that there will really be no book next and the last thing I can long for are these final two movies. That's when I started to panic aswell.
In all honesty I feel like a part of me is missing. I can't imagine what is life without Harry Potter, actually, I can't remember a time without Harry Potter. I know I wasn't so little anymore when it first started but it was love at first sight.
I was this shy, insecure, chubby kid and reading was my life. I spent hours after hours reading, losing myself in the stories. It made me happy, gave me hope that someday my life would be more than this. I was one of those kids who wished with all their life that it was all real and one day it would be my time to go to Hogwarts too.
It was a period in my life of wich I can't remember much, I didn't exactly have best friends who I made plans with, I spent pretty much all my time at home or going out with my parents. Lonely times. The books were my friends, Harry and the rest of the gang were my friends, it was my dreamland. Dreams keep us going right?
And truthfully, deep in my heart I will always keep the hope that there really is magic and one day I will be lucky enough to witness it. But some things are too good to be truth.
Thank you J.K.Rolling for making me dream and creating the books of my life. You made me a better person.

Painting

Alright, I am very proud of my painting so i'll be showing off. It is rare that I'm this content over a work, I honestly wouldn't change it.
Oh and the original image isn't by me, it's in some poster on the street about a movie festival but i liked it so decided to do my version. Hope no one minds.
By the way, homie, this is the image I told you about. I might do a stencil of it one of these days. And Naty my baby this is the painting I was mentioning.
My first take at acrylic painting. Any good?

PS: I'm still dwelling over what to do in the rest of the canvas. It will stay white for now, I like it white. If I come up with something meanwhile I'll alter it. I wish I had a smaller canvas at home so I wouldn't have to worry about so many empty space, but this was the only size I had.
Oh and the "bad painting" technique is purposeful.

Photography Workshop

This summer I had the pleasure to participate in a 5 days long workshop, which delt with film developing and photo printing. Of course, it was amazing.
I'm very much into the old-school black and white films. In a way, for me, digital photography lost the old days beauty. I mean I like it, but it's not the same, you know?

So this workshop consisted of mainly this:

Day 1: Pretty much presentations and getting to know the lab, all that usual stuff. Oh and I had a low blood-pressure moment and fainted in the middle of the class, bumping into a table on the way down to the floor. Hight point of the day, it was a pretty kickass first impression. Alright it sucked, but it makes me laugh!

Day 2: We went around São João in couples, taking photos of whatever we felt like. It had been a while since I had had to worry about taking only 24 photos (or was it 36?), which were divided by two since we were two people by camera. Either ways, we took the photos and went back to the base. Done for the day.

Day 3: This was the day the fun shit started. We developed the film and all that jazz. Let me tell you, it is a patience job.

Day 4: We started developing the photos! It is very much fun but the liquids stuff gets boring pretty fast. It's fun nonetheless.

Day 5: The last day (insert sad frown). We finished printing photos, including the bigger ones supposed to go to the exposition (some works were to be exposed in the end of all the summer workshops).




It was a fun week even though the having-to-wake-up-early-every-day-and-catch-the-train-to-be-at-the-workshop-by-ten was sort of tiring. C'mon it was summer, I had been waking up every day after eleven.
It took a while but the exposition was this month and will be in the galery for these few weeks.
This was my work:

The middle one.

Ignore my previous statement, I've managed to put it straight. Yay for me.





I suggested the "ilford film showing" effect. Am very proud of said suggestion.

This was it! I might post some of my other (smaller) photos one of these days.

Ricardo Reis

Today (more like tonight, really) I will be talking about Ricardo Reis, who was, for those who don't know, one of Fernando Pessoa's heteronyms.
So, Ricardo Reis followed, among others, a life philosophy called Epicureanism. And what is this Epicureanism you might wonder? Well it basicaly means individual pleasure as a life goal, yet in a moderate way in order not to suffer with possible consequences. That's putting it simply because there's way more bullshit in between.
This same philosophy was present in some of Reis's poems pretty much like this:
He wrote to this girl, Lídia, whom he might possibily have something with, but due to his beliefs wouldn't. He wouldn't hold her hand or get involved in any way other than a platonic way because if he did and their feelings became real, when one day things between them went wrong they would suffer with it.
Well let me tell you what I think of it: down right bullshit.
Ricardo Reis was very much at peace with the though that he would one day die, but even so instead of living his life he would waste it with stupid beliefs such as these. What if they did suffer? What if it all went terribly wrong? At least it would have been better to have lived, and lived well. Ricardo Reis "was" an aristocrat (because as an heteronym he never really existed but in Fernando Pessoa's mind), he could have enjoyed everything so fully, with so little difficulties, yet he chose to sit by a river watching life pass by. All of it just to avoid suffering.
If that's not absolutely idiotic then I don't know what is.

Believe it or not all this talk wasn't for the purpose of bashing Ricardo Reis. It truly wasn't. There was a point I was trying to get at:
Everything we have we will one day lose. Ricardo Reis knew that. That's one thing I will give him credit for. And in the last few days that's been a sore spot for me.
I'm a positive person, a firm believer that we should enjoy everything for as little as it is. But there are times when things that had become good turn bad again, and everything feels even worse than it had first started as. In times such as those even I wish I could be like him, just put myself in a bubble where nothing could affect me, suffer no harm. And that's when I feel like the biggest hypocrite ever, because what moral do I have, really, when in darker times I'm just as eagger for a easy ride?
It get's me thinking about how wrong or right anything can really be, how fast we are to criticize.
I'm glad there is a middle ground.

Tegan and Sara Quotes

Tegan and Sara - Call It Off

Make sure to click the link and give yourself the pleasure to listen to the amazingness that is Tegan and Sara.
Anyway, in lack of better to do I felt like making a compilation of amazing Tegan and Sara quotes, because everybody knows they are amazing therefore everything they say is equally as amazing. Isn't it amazing how well Tegan and Sara and the word amazing seem to go together?
Ah, enough stupidity from me and on to the quotes.



Sara Quin:
(It's unbelievable how fast she can come up with some crazy ass story on stage)

- “My mom says I suck as a bed partner. I suck in bed…but thats ok, I have other things going for me.”
- “We take it so seriously when people don’t like us or when they say they can’t relate to us. I’m like, “How can you not relate to us? We’re like hearts on a sleeve. How can you not relate to the human condition, you fucking asshole?”
- “I’m not a slut, I’m just, you know, emotionally slutty."
- “I am a giant Gaylord."
- “Anyway, I diagnosed myself..I have a virus and so..uh..I won’t be having sex with anyone after the show… hmm..I’m just kidding, it’s not..it’s not passed like that.”
- “I have standards, you’re a slut.” (Talking to Tegan)
- "I know how I was born and I know that I have no choice. I know it may not show on the color of my skin, but I know it’s in my heart and in my soul." (About being a lesbian)

Tegan Quin:
- “So, the first session, Sara called the therapist a motherfucker. And the second session, I was like on Oprah and I cried and I was all, ‘You hurt me with your words!’ and Sara called me a motherfucker. And the third session we just, like, totally ganged up on April (that was our therapist’s name) and then we had a list, like, we started the session with all the words we weren’t allowed to use. I mean, obviously number one being ‘motherfucker’…”
- “And we’re going to make billions of dollars, and we’re going to buy an island, one of the ones that have unicorns on them. We talk about unicorns a lot because I found out while we were recording the record that I did not understand that unicorns never existed, I just thought they were extinct. And then everybody laughs because everyone’s first thought when they think of a unicorn is the idea that it’s a mythical creature but I didn’t ever think that way. I was just like, it’s a white horse with a horn…”
- “The girl sitting in front of me in homeroom in grade 7th turned around and she said, ‘Oh my god! I totally lost my virginity to my boyfriend this summer to this song!’ and I was like, “We have to do that already?!”
- “I’m pretty sure Sara wrote that song about me. Dressing bad’s like loving you. Sara dresses pretty bad but it’s because she loves me. Even though I hate her. She tries so much to win my love… hey Sara?”
- “I’d say it’s more about not how many people you’ve slept with but do you have an STD.”


Ahh...They brighten my days.

1 a.m. ramble

(Take into account I wrote this last night at 1 a.m. after a very emotional hour and a half watching the movie Latter Days. I was very sensitive.)

Sometimes I wonder how many people go through this feeling.

Like when they’re out on the street holding hands with the person they love and they suddenly stop and think that, what if the wrong person saw them, what if some wacko crazy lunatic saw them and, I don’t know, killed them.

I feel that sometimes, when I’m out with my girlfriend. I don’t think I ever told that to anyone, but I do, and even she thinks I’m just being a scaredy cat because it’s dark and I’ve seen way too many scary movies but, it’s no demons or ghosts or whatever kind of monsters I’m scared of, I’m scared another human being just like me might see it and not only dislike it but hate it, and not be right in the mind and take it into its own hands to “fix” it. I’m scared of being beaten or raped or even killed just because I’m holding her hand, and that doesn’t stop me in the least and I’ll keep doing that forever if I can but it makes me think, it gets me thinking every time I hear about anything that is relative to homosexuality and death, it gets me thinking it could be me but thankfully isn’t, thankfully I have an amazingly supportive family and friends who love me and back me up nonetheless, maybe even more than if I was straight.

I consider myself lucky and it honestly kills me to know many aren’t half as lucky. It gets me crying like a baby completely lost in the world (and believe me, that's sad). I feel so ungrateful at times, I seem to forget the pain and the suffering of those who had to fight for all the rights I now have. For fucks sake, I can even marry right now. And I wish I could thank each one of the people who made it possible and take them in my arms and fix all the harm that was done to them. Harm that was done just so that I, like many other to come, could enjoy the acceptance I have nowadays, could live my life without fearing death penalties and such.

I hope that someday I can do my part…



(I can't credit because I honestly don't
know where I got this beautiful photograph.)



McDonalds + Paranormal Activity 2

Last night, due to a friend's birthday, a bunch of us went out to the shopping to eat some amazing-yet-crappy-as-hell-no-wonder-i'm-getting-fat McDonalds food followed by Paranormal Activity 2. Putting it simply, it was a really cool night. It had it's lows but I'm the type of person to overcome that stuff easily. Can't wait for the next time.
I never thought it could be so amusing to watch a horror movie in the cinema, but apparently Pedro can manage that. Between his girly screams at the littlelest things and naty's "eat the poopoo" in my ear I  guess I'm safe. I won't lie, I'm so playing matchmaker now, Pedro and Texas managed to put my inner hysterical-pre-adolescent girl drooling with their cuteness. I'm so gay.
In my opinion both PA's aren't scary in the least, but "Pussy Hunter" so made the movie worth it. You'll have to see to know what I'm talking about ahah.
Anyway, I see some Harry Potter action in the near distance (and stappled all over the cinema's walls), just hope the film makes justice to the book 'cause let's be honest, many of the films haven't done so. A person can dream right?



Sorry, I couldn't help showing off my glasses *.*
Ps: I love my Paty



Epic

Most epic shit ever. You can't beat this. Ahahah.

Sorry to be heavy, but heavy is the cost

I'm not a masochist, or at least I don't think I am. For some reason the things I like the most are the ones who make my heart ache in the strongest of the ways, that get me analyzing every aspect of my life and dissecating it until I feel numb.
It's not that I enjoy pain, I truly don't, but in a way the human condition fascinates me. How a single situation can scar us and shapes us for the rest of our lifes, how thinking back on it always makes us feel it again as if it had never gone away but at the same time it felt distant, like looking through the mist in a winter morning. A false sense of security.
I know it might sound cliché but I like things that make me feel something, be it the utmost happiness or overwhelming pain. I just want them to shake me down to my core, leave me in a daze, send shivers all over.
I once found this amazing quote and it pin pointed exactly what I felt, straight and simple:

"We need the books that affect us like a disaster,
that grieve us deeply...
Like being banished into forests far from everyone,
like a suicide.
A book must be the ax for the frozen sea inside us."
- Franz Kafka

(Yes I'm aware you might find slightly different quotes but please keep in mind Kafka was german therefore it is normal that not every translation is virtualy the same. You do get the point right?)

I had never thought much on the subject but I suppose finding someone else who shared my views made it somehow more serious.
I'm aware not everybody might agree, but due to some of the things I went through I feel a much greater need to feel alive now than I ever recall having. I appreciate every little feeling for what it is, no matter what it is, because there were times I wasn't lucky enough to so much as have them. Things change though.
I remember being sick of everything, desperatly needing a way out. That was when I first learned what numbness meant.
Life amazes me, the intensity of it, how quickly it goes by. And sometimes I seem to forget the fragility of it, and of how precious it is.
I wonder how many peple stop to think about it aswell.

The idea for this post was somethat out of the blue, but I'll blame this song for triggering it.
Stars - Personal

Another random list

In case you're wondering (not that I think you might be), yes, I do very much enjoy the word "random".
Anyway, lately I've been thinking about the many things I would one day learn to do and of now I felt like writing it down so bare with me. There will be no specific order as I love them all.

Graffittis
Oh how much I want to learn how to. I feel this huge urge everytime I see one out on the street.

Tattoos
No shit. And get some of my own aswell. I'm very much fascinated with the idea of inking some awesome art in someone's skin, I find it beautiful, really.

Skate
Yup, I went there. I have a trauma with roller skates but skating itself is something I really want to learn. Seriously, how badass is it.

Motorbike
I'll probably just take the car license and get it over with, but I really love bikes.


So many time spent thinking about this and I can't for the life of me remember anything else at the moment. Ahah

Eh

The hypocrisy of people astounds me.
Anyway...Life goes on mates.



A cool drawing I found at the train station a while back.



Lisbon

Last week I went over to Lisbon to buy new lip piercings. It had been a while since I had last been there and I really missed it. I missed walking on the street and feeling so in place.

There's just something magic about it.

The Albums I Couldn't Live Without

So today on Autostraddle I stumbled upon this oldish entry by Emily where the girls were discussing their favorite albums.
It got me thinking about which CD's changed my life.

Funeral For A Friend - Hours
It was one of those albums I heard and simply fell in love with, it completely swept me off my feet.
I was going through some rough times back when I first listened to it, the girl I was dating back then, whom the album belonged to (I later got my own copy), wasn't good for me, in the least. I wasn't well. Mentaly, I was way past the healthy line. But then I would listen to this and feel alive again. I have no idea what drew me in, but my love for this record hasn't changed, not once.

"So pull this switch and see my body twitch
As we dance on this memory
Despair has devoured me whole
A seed won't grow from this soul
This pill won't cure my disease
Can't you kill this beating heart"
- from Hospitality


Tegan And Sara - The Con
Does this even need explaining? It's Tegan and Sara, there's not a word we can't relate to.
This album sends me through such a roller coaster of emotions, these girls can describe my feelings so dead on it sometimes hurts. Pure, raw, they are genious.
From Back In Your Head to Call It Off, Floorplan, Like O Like H, Nineteen... it gives me the chills.
Pure perfection.

Tegan And Sara - So Jealous
So Jealous was the first song I ever heard by them, many years before I fell in love with them. It's crazy how amazing things can pass by us like nothing. Luckily I made up for my mistake. It's hard for me to so much as give my opinion in any of their albums because I truthfully love everything they ever came up with.
I mean, hello? Downtown, I Can't Take It, Walking With A Ghost, I Bet It Stung, I Know I Know I Know, So Jealous, and I better stop before I list all the songs. How much better could it possibly get?
It couldn't. It's Tegan And Sara and that's enough explanation.
Suming it up, if I had to pick only one artist to listen to for the rest of my life, it would be them.


Papa Roach - Getting Away With Murder
Back to the girl I used to date subject. I was angry, I was depressed, I didn't know what to do with my life, I was far too caught up in my own mistakes. This album made me wanna scream, it made me wanna kick, it made me wanna cry. It was filled with angst, despair, rage, but at the same time it helped me see that I knew how to sort my life and gave me hope that one day I would have the courage to do so. And i did.

"I'm drunk and I'm feeling down
And I just wanna be alone
I'm pissed 'cause you came around
Why don't you just go home?
'Cause you channel all your pain
And I can't help you fix yourself
You're driving me insane"
- from Scars

Blink 182 - Blink 182
Well, what can I say...I was a kid. I must of had been around 12 maybe when they first peeked my interest, and oh did they peek it. I soon had three of their albums: Blink 182, Take Off Your Pants and Jacket and Enema Of The State. I still remember how embarassed I was of Enema's cover as I stood in line to purchase it. I was such a prude and shy kid.
They were the first band I became a fan of, I loved them. I listened to them constantly wether it was in my room, in the car, at family parties, you name it. For many years they were the CD in my walkman during car trips with my parents in the summer. I still do the same sometimes, when I feel like it, search for them in my MP4 and give in to the old days melancholy.
I still love them, specially this album and each and every song in it.

"I'll leave my room open 'til sunrise for you
I'll keep my eyes constantly focused on you
Where are you now, I can hear footsteps, I'm dreaming
And if you will, keep me from waking to believe this"
- from I'm Lost Without You


UnderOath - They're Only chasing Safety
These guys are one of those bands that I would love to spend an afternoon goofing around with. I love all they stand for (minus their big religious beliefs, I'm not a very big fan of that, but for them I'll close my eyes to that little detail). Their music is powerful, intense, both musicaly and lyricaly. And do I love their lyrics.
Listening to this album makes me feel like going through an empty street at night, at high speed, the darkness and lights rushing past me, giving we this peaceful yet weary feeling.


This is all for now, If I remember anything else meanwhile I'll make sure to post.

I'd been thinking about getting a blog for a while now, it's just something that I thought might be nice. Post some random photo, write some random thought, just be plain out random in whatever way i came up with. I suppose today, quite out of the blue, I decided it was about time i went ahead with it instead of keeping on with this internal nonsense dilemma. So hey, here it is.
I wonder where the hell I'm going with this.
Cheers :)